Relationships are not easy. We`re all human beings – and people make mistakes. We have flaws. Sometimes we just don`t get into the work we need and we leave our relationships behind. If we start to see how we can save a relationship, it may have been neglected for years. But don`t forget that many relationships are worth saving. They just have to be ready to do the job. 2 Total, N.C., Fletcher, G. J. O., Simpson, J. A., Sibley, C. G. (2009).
Partners in intimate relationships regulate: the costs and benefits of different communication strategies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96, 620-639. You`ll find more tips on a good relationship (#goals) in the 5 basics of a healthy relationship. The two couples were faced with a conflict – the same conflict, indeed. But one knew how to resolve conflicts in a relationship, the other did not. We reacted on the basis of bad habits and taking advantage of the conflict to widen a gap between them. The other took advantage of the conflict to communicate their feelings and expand their relationship. Which couple do you think has a more successful, fulfilling relationship? Which relationship do you think will last longer? Communication is at the top of the list of how a relationship can be stored.
If you are wondering how you can save your relationship because your trust has been shattered, you probably feel angry, bitter, hurt, suspicious and a whole host of other negative emotions. If you are the person who broke trust, you feel guilty and ashamed. You can even try to blame your partner or justify your actions. In this situation, both partners must work on forgiveness. As anyone who was in a romantic relationship knows, disagreements and struggles are inevitable. When two people spend a lot of time together, tangled up in their lives, they occasionally disagree. These disagreements may be large or small, of what is to eat or not completing a job to complete a job to argue about whether the couple is moving for a partner`s career or incentivizing the decision on the religious education of the children. If you feel like your partner is trying to control what you`re doing, then it`s a big red flag.
If your partner is crazy that you would write to other people, don`t like that you prioritize school and responsibility about them, you put pressure to connect with them, or try to limit the time you spend with your friends, then these are signs that your partner is trying to control you. Even if they try to rationalize it by saying “I`m just to protect,” “it`s my trust problem,” or it`s “because I love you,” no one should ever try to control you, especially not your partner. If any of these behaviours seem familiar, your relationship may be abusive and you should seek help. When you`re criticized, it`s hard not to be defensive. But defense doesn`t solve problems. Imagine a couple arguing because the wife wants her husband to do more work around the house. When she suggests that he do a quick clean-up after he`s gone in the morning, he says, “Yes, it would help, but I really don`t have time in the morning.” When she suggests that he spend some time on the weekends, he says, “Yes, maybe it`s a way to predict it, but we usually have plans on weekends, and I have work to make up for lost time so it doesn`t work.” This “yes butting” suggests that their ideas and opinions are not worth it. Another destructive, defensive behavior is “cross-complaining” when you respond to your partner`s complaint with one of your own. For example, “You don`t clean the house enough” with “You`re a nice monster.” It is important to hear from your partner and really think about what they are saying.3 What I wanted was a relationship of trust, honesty and openness; one where we all had the courage to share what we really felt and listen to each other, with the intention of understanding instead of judging.